Agnes and the Hitman re-read

Agnes and the HitmanAgnes and the Hitman
by Jennifer Crusie
Rating: ★★★★½
isbn: 9780312363048
Publication Date: August 21, 2007
Pages: 368
Genre: Fiction
Publisher: St. Martin's Press

 

I recently read Wild Ride by the same two authors for a Halloween Bingo square, and it made me want to re-read my very favorite Crusie of all time.  I reviewed it back in 2014, which can be found here, but even then it was a re-read and I don’t have any notes from my original reading.

But it really doesn’t matter, because this book is just as good the 5 or 6th time as it was the first time.  Hilarious, not at all realistic, yet believable, and at its heart, endearingly sweet in a way that only a mafia related killing spree can be.

Agnes is engaged and they’ve bought the house of her dreams from her BFF’s mother, where she and her soon-to-be are going to write cookbooks and cater fabulous events.  The first event is part of the mortgage contract: throw a fabulous wedding at the house for Agnes’ goddaughter and the previous owner’s grand-daughter in exchange for the first 3 months of payments.

Easy, until someone comes in one night to steal her dog at gunpoint.  Agnes, who has a history of anger management issues, hits him with a frying pan, knocking him through the wall into an unknown (to her) basement.  She calls her old friend Joey (the Gent) who, hearing what happened and seeing the basement, calls in his nephew, Shane, a government black-op.  He comes to protect Agnes and find out who wants the dog, and why.

Meanwhile, the bride’s grand-mother seems determined to relocate the wedding to the country club, and everything that can go wrong with the wedding preparations does.   Through it all Agnes just keeps cooking and planning and fixing, refusing to allow anything to stand in her way of having this wedding, not even the dead bodies.

It’s a fast paced read, with no slow spots.  It’s a huge amount of fun, and as I said before it’s not at all realistic, but the relationships are feel believable.  Even the instant attraction between Shane and Agnes.  I continue to absolutely love this book as one of the ultimate comfort reads on my shelves.

 

I re-read this just because I wanted to, but it fits for Halloween Bingo’s Terror in a Small Town square, so I’m going with that.  It’s set in Keyes, South Carolina a tiny (fictional) town that’s home to half the Jersey mob’s family (the retired half) and is beset with a string of murders that leaves a body count somewhere around 7.

Halloween Bingo Update, 3 September

I think just about everybody knows we here in Melbourne and Sydney are in level 4 lockdowns and will be until at least October.  My immediate reaction to this has been to go on a reading binge and read all the books.  That means I finished two books I started over the weekend and binge read a third from start to finish.

This won’t continue, of course; I’ll either run out of books or develop blood clots from sitting too long.  So while this update comes right on the heels of my last Bingo post, it’s not a sign of future frequency.  Although I do have my re-read of Agnes and the Hitman that I’ll finish up today for Terror in a Small Town.  After that, I have no idea what I’ll pick up next.

There have been two calls thus far, and neither are on my card, so my card remains just hints of stickers to come.

Accumulative reading table with links to reviews below the card.

The spreadsheet:

Bingo Square Date Called Book Title Date Read
Row #1
Mad Scientists and Evil Geniuses Naked Brunch Aug. 30
Stone Cold Horror/Creepy Carnival Wild Ride Sep. 1
Vintage Mystery
Dem Bones
Read by Candlelight/Flashlight
Row #2
Murder Most Foul
Lethal Games No Nest for the Wicket Sep. 1
Spellbound The Once and Future Witches Aug. 31
Black Cat
Relics and Curiosities
Row #3
Shifters Naked Brunch Aug. 30
Terror in a Small Town
FREE SPACE
Psych / Highway to Hell Archive of the Forgotten Sep. 3
Truly Terrifying
Row #4
Noir
Genre: Mystery The Alchemist’s Illusion Sep. 2
Country House Mystery
Tropical Terror
Locked Room Mystery
Row #5
Splatter
Cryptozoologist
Plague and Disease Scourged Sep. 3
In the Dark, Dark Woods
Gallows Humor

 

Scourged (Iron Druid Chronicles, #10)

ScourgedScourged
by Kevin Hearne
Rating: ★★★★
isbn: 9780525486459
Series: Iron Druid Chronicles #9
Publication Date: April 15, 2018
Pages: 268
Genre: Urban Fantasy
Publisher: Del Ray Books

 

I bought a signed copy of this book around the time it came out, before I heard that the general conclusion of other readers’ was disappointment.  It sat on my TBR shelf neglected ever since.  But recently I read a review for the second book in his new series, which is winging its way to me as I write this and in that review it’s mentioned that Atticus and Oberon play a part and they get the ending they deserve.

Well, in order to appreciate the ending they deserve, I needed to know about the ending they got, so, being in a very bad mood yesterday anyway, I grabbed this book and thought “let’s get this over with”.

And it turned out, I guess because I was braced for the worst, that I didn’t think it was so bad after all.  Yes, if you agree with the premise that not all promises are meant to be kept, Atticus’ ending was pretty dire in consequence of keeping that ill-fated promise.  And no, I didn’t really enjoy all the self-flagellation Atticus had going on, nor did I think Granuaile’s reaction at the end entirely proportional.  But over everything else was kind of fun.  I enjoyed seeing all the pantheons show up, and I liked the humour and the ever-so-subtle oneupmanship between them.  And as much as I love Oberon, I wasn’t unhappy with his smaller role in this book.  There’s a fine line, I think, between Oberon being adorable and funny, and Oberon being insanely obnoxious, and this book found that line before it crossed it.

I’m not sorry to see the series come to a conclusion, though I’ll miss the characters.  I am glad I read it too, because I’m really looking forward to what I can only guess is Atticus’ redemption in the new series, Blood and Ink.

 

I read this book not really thinking how it would fit on my Halloween Bingo 2021 card.  And it really doesn’t, although it would work for Gallows Humour.  But I have a Wild Card I can use, and a square I don’t like, Plague and Diseases so I’m going to use Kevin Hearne and this book to take care of that space.

The Archive of the Forgotten (Hell’s Library, #2)

The Archive of the ForgottenThe Archive of the Forgotten
by A.J. Hackwith
Rating: ★★★½
isbn: 9781984806390
Series: Hell's Library #2
Publication Date: October 6, 2020
Pages: 352
Genre: Fiction, Urban Fantasy
Publisher: Ace

 

Not as good as the first book for me.  The first book was all about the creation of the team: Claire, Brevity, Hero and eventually, Ramiel.  The librarian, the muse, the character, and the angel.  There was a common enemy and books had spirit and fought.  It was a good time.

This book is about pitting the team against each other and the books are silent, non-participants, except when a character or two throws some spite at Claire, who is now the Archivist of the Arcane after being ousted by Hell as Librarian of the Unwritten Wing.  There’s also a tiny soupçon of insta-romance that’s completely unnecessary, extraneous to the plot entirely, and feels like it was done to make a statement rather than add anything to the story, as opposed to the small soupçon of romance that was central to the plot of the first book.

All in all, a lot less fun and more of a chore.  A chore willingly done because all the fantastic love of books and stories is still here.  The magic of books is still here; it’s just the characters that lost their magic this time around.  I suppose I could say the division amongst friends in this book reminds me too much of the division amongst friends and family in real life that’s occurring everywhere, and that would be true, but really, I just don’t like to read about friends fighting.

I love the atmosphere of the book and the magic of the library and the arcane wing.  I love the log entries at the start of each chapter, even if I don’t always agree with their philosophy or theology.  I like the characters, and I’d like to love them and perhaps with the next book, or the one after that, I will, assuming I’ll want to read it when the time comes.  But if the author is sharing a sliver of her soul with readers in this series, I can’t help but worry from hints here and there within the stories so far, that that sliver of soul has an axe to grind and I’m not looking to be a whetstone for my books, no matter how much I love their premise and their magic.  So, 3.5 stars and a ‘we’ll see’.

 

I read this for 2021 Halloween Bingo.  I originally had the Psych square, but Flipped/traded with Moonlight Reader (All the Vintage Ladies) for her Highway to Hell square, for which this is in all the ways perfect.

The Alchemist’s Illusion

The Alchemist's IllusionThe Alchemist's Illusion
by Gigi Pandian
Rating: ★★★½
isbn: 9780738753010
Series: Accidental Alchemist #4
Publication Date: February 1, 2019
Pages: 329
Genre: Fantasy, Fiction, Mystery
Publisher: Midnight Ink

 

I read this book while I read two other supernatural books at the same time, and now my thoughts are all muddled.  But for the most part it’s a slightly better than average cozy paranormal mystery.

Zoe’s an alchemist that accidentally stumbled on the philosopher’s stone and the elixir of life centuries ago and has been hiding her true nature ever since. Her best friend is a gargoyle that received the elixir of life from someone practicing backward alchemy a hundred years ago who got by before meeting Zoe by being a French chef to the blind.  There’s a lot to like in the premise of this book and series, if you like that sort of thing (and I do).

Zoe apprenticed under Nicholas Flamel and his wife, both of whom disappeared centuries ago and were presumed dead, but Zoe had begun having suspicions when she stumbled across a painting of the two of them – something she knew they never allowed.

What follows would be a great story if not for Zoe’s over-riding angst colouring the whole story.  Constant worrying about being found out; her other best friend being railroaded for a crime he didn’t commit because of his race; her gargoyle being discovered; her boyfriend not believing her.  The list is sort of exhaustive, and reading about it is exhaustive.  Beyond that is a really interesting story about hiding in plain sight, and the corruption of desire in a life lived too long.

This book culminates in a few secrets being revealed, so I can only hope the next book will be a lot less angsty and a lot more pure fun.

 

I read this book for 2021 Halloween Bingo’s Genre: Mystery square.  Underneath all the gargoyles and alchemists, there’s a murder mystery to be solved.

It’s September 1st! Halloween Bingo 2021 has officially begun!

For those of us who eagerly anticipate Halloween Bingo each year, it’s that most special day – the official kickoff! For those who don’t participate: apologies – the next 60 days might be a tad tedious.

I hate WordPress almost as much as I hate GoodReads, but I got my card to work almost 100%. I simply had to let go of all that silly mathematical nonsense and make my sticker images bigger than the card itself. So I’m back to using a mystery image – this year’s is far edgier than most might expect from me, but given the days we live in, it fit my mood.

If I’ve read it, the sticker is semi-transparent over the square; once the square has been called, it will go fully opaque. I’m assuming the WordPress Reader app will break these posts and make it look like a dog’s breakfast, but I can’t fight WP on two fronts without going stark raving.

Accumulative reading table with links to reviews below the card.

The spreadsheet:

Bingo Square Date Called Book Title Date Read
Row #1
Mad Scientists and Evil Geniuses Naked Brunch Aug. 30
Stone Cold Horror/Creepy Carnival Wild Ride Sep. 1
Vintage Mystery
Dem Bones
Read by Candlelight/Flashlight
Row #2
Murder Most Foul
Lethal Games No Nest for the Wicket Sep. 1
Spellbound The Once and Future Witches Aug. 31
Black Cat
Relics and Curiosities
Row #3
Shifters Naked Brunch Aug. 30
Terror in a Small Town
FREE SPACE
Psych / Highway to Hell
Truly Terrifying
Row #4
Noir
Genre: Mystery
Country House Mystery
Tropical Terror
Locked Room Mystery
Row #5
Splatter
Cryptozoologist
Plague and Disease
In the Dark, Dark Woods
Gallows Humor

 

Wild Ride

Wild RideWild Ride
by Bob Mayer, Jennifer Crusie
Rating: ★★★½
isbn: 9780312533779
Publication Date: March 15, 2010
Pages: 351
Genre: Fantasy, Fiction
Publisher: St. Martin's Press

 

This was the last book Jennifer Crusie wrote that I hadn’t yet read (except for the Temptation books; I started Welcome to Temptation  and something turned me off and I never finished it).  It’s a co-wriiten book with Bob Meyer, and their previous effort Agnes and the Hitman is one of my all time favourite good-time reads.

But I avoided this one for years because I’m not a fan of carnivals and amusement parks as story settings.  Stephen King might have ruined this for me, but there’s just something WAY too creepy and seedy about them in books.  Nevertheless, I had bought this and after years of languishing in a forgotten corner of the TBR, I found it just in time for Halloween Bingo, and the setting was perfect.

Mary Alice (Mab) is just finishing up a massive restoration of an early 1920’s amusement park, putting on one of the last touches, when she’s attacked by a giant iron clown that calls her by name.  The owners of the park seen unsurprised, though they pass it off as a hallucination.  Soon, however, there’s no escaping the truth:  the park is the prison for 5 untouchable demons (all from the Etruscan mythology, it seems) and two have escaped.  It’s up to Mab and her fellow Guardia to re-capture them and keep the other three from escaping.

Believe me when I say there is nothing deep or philosophical about this book.  It’s pure silliness and funnel cake fun.  It’s not nearly as well plotted or written as Agnes and the Hitman, but it’s well written enough that it kept me reading and the eye rolling only happened a few times.

I doubt I’ll ever re-read this again, though it did make me want to climb that ladder to grab Agnes for a re-read.

 

I read this for Halloween Bingo 2021.  It’s a perfect fit for the Creepy Carnivals square, which is really my Stone Cold Horror square – I used my Transfiguration Spell card,  as it’s chock full of demons (including minions that possess teddy bears and characters ripped completely from Small World) and it takes place entirely within the grounds of the Fun Fun Amusement Park.

No Nest for the Wicket re-read

No Nest for the WicketNo Nest for the Wicket
by Donna Andrews
Rating: ★★★★
isbn: 9780312329402
Series: Meg Langslow #7
Publication Date: August 8, 2006
Pages: 259
Genre: Fiction, Mystery
Publisher: St. Martin's Minotaur

 

I read this when it first came out back in 2008-ish, and my first review can be found here.

I love Donna Andrews, but for some reason haven’t re-read the non-Christmas ones in ages, if ever.  It was a little bit strange going back this far, as Meg and Michael aren’t married yet, the twins are not yet a glint in their eye, and Meg’s family has yet to transition from Yorktown to Caerphilly.  But the eXtreme croquet tournament that is at the heart of this mystery is hilarious – extra wickets for hitting the balls between the legs of the cows and the sheep! and the Morris Men Dancer team is certainly an interesting twist.

I’m going to say that the plot is not the primary reason to read this book.  If you’re a follower of the series, the characters and the side plots are enough to keep the book entertaining.  While the mystery itself was decent, Andrews gave an abundance of clues to the reader and then sprung an unexpected murderer on Meg and the rest of us.  Not strictly fair play.

 

I read this for Halloween Bingo – for a square I dreaded: Lethal Games until Themis-Athena reminded me of the Meg Langslow series’ multiple games-focused plots.  Thanks TA for making this square a lot less stressful.  🙂

The Once and Future Witches

The Once and Future WitchesThe Once and Future Witches
by Alix E. Harrow
Rating: ★★★
isbn: 9780356512471
Publication Date: October 15, 2001
Pages: 517
Genre: Fiction
Publisher: Orbit

In 1893, there's no such thing as witches. There used to be, in the wild, dark days before the burnings began, but now witching is nothing but tidy charms and nursery rhymes. If the modern woman wants any measure of power, she must find it at the ballot box.

But when the three Eastwood sisters join the suffragists of New Salem, they begin to pursue the forgotten ways that might turn the women's movement into the witch's movement. Stalked by shadows and sickness, hunted by forces who will not suffer a witch to vote - and perhaps not even to live - the sisters must delve into the oldest magics, draw new alliances, and heal the bond between them if they want to survive.

There's no such thing as witches. But there will be.


 

I loved The Ten Thousand Doors of January and bought this off the back of that love, looking to re-capture the magical writing and story telling.

It both did and it didn’t.  The writing is just as magical, and I have not a doubt that many others will find the story just as captivating, but unfortunately I didn’t.  Not because it wasn’t good – it was.  It’s theme just didn’t ring my bell.  I had decided to DNF it after 200 pages or so, but instead I decided to skim-read the rest, knowing I’d be disappointed and always wondering if I didn’t.

I dislike stories that pit women against men, that reduce history down to all women are down-trodden and abused and all men are evil, and this story does almost exactly that.  One woman in this book was against suffrage, except she wasn’t, and exactly two male characters were anything more than drunken, abusive and evil.

If I could subtract that dynamic from the story, while keeping the story itself, somehow (impossible, really), I’d have found the story magical.  I couldn’t help but like Bella, Agnes and James Juniper, and the sense of place was astonishingly vivid.  The magical workings and the ties to fairy tales and nursery rhymes works beautifully.  Ultimately, there are not a lot of fellow readers I’d not recommend this book to.  Except me.  And that’s ok; while I’m certain it won’t be a book I’ll ever pick up again, I’m not sorry that I persevered rather than DNF’ing it.

 

I read this for Halloween Bingo 2021’s Spellbound square.  It’s a perfect fit for the square: books containing witches, warlocks, sorcerers and witchcraft.

Naked Brunch

Naked BrunchNaked Brunch
by Sparkle Hayter
Rating: ★★★★
isbn: 9781842430422
Publication Date: May 1, 2002
Pages: 288
Genre: Urban Fantasy
Publisher: No Exit Press

Annie Engel hasn’t been feeling herself lately. With good reason. A mousy secretary by day, she’s been morphing into a werewolf at night. In the morning, she’s not quite sure what she’s been up to, but she knows she’d like to do it again. She soon discovers that her odd dreams and strange hangovers are actually the remnants of a night out on the prowl.

But Annie’s predatory activities have not gone unnoticed, and soon she is being pursued by one hapless reporter, a psychiatrist who wants to save her from her beastly impulses, and another (guy) werewolf who captures her heart. Who is a nice werewolf to trust? Get ready for a manic, madcap chase through the dank underbelly of the big city, a place where no one seems to sleep and the scents of fear and desire are always in the air.


 

Years ago, I read Sparkle Hayter’s mystery series featuring Robin Hudson, and enjoyed it tremendously.  Years pass and I’m digging through a local used bookstore and stumbled across this completely different style of book, but the author’s name is not one that’s easily forgotten, so I grabbed it.  It sounded funny.

I finally got around to reading it this year and it was every bit as good as I’d hoped it would be, and in fact, better, since I was wary over the different narrative style and genre.  It’s also told in the third person, which can be tricky for me.

The story revolves primarily around Annie, the last nice girl in the big city (which, while never named explicitly, is NYC).  She’s a secretary during the day and normally a door-mat for her two ‘best friends’ at night, being dragged from vapid party to vapid party while her two friends kill themselves to become famous.  But lately, she’s been having weird dreams, and waking up in the morning covered in blood, to find broken bedroom windows, and the need to vomit up whatever she ate the night before, which seems to be meat, which is odd, as she’s a vegetarian.

Then there’s Jim – he’s a werewolf and he’s come back to the city after a self-imposed exile, the kind of exile where everybody thinks you’re dead.  He runs into Annie one night when she’s not herself and they hit if off in a love-at-first-sight kind of way – if only he knew who she was or what she looked like in her less hirsute form…

Dr. Marco knows there’s a werewolf running around uncontrolled in the city and is frantic to find it, bring it into the center, and reform it using a tried and true method of drugs, restraints, and group therapy.  If he can’t find it, his family will and they’ll put it down rather than risk exposure.

And then there’s Sam, the hapless, truly kind, incredibly lucky, has-been reporter, desperate to hold on to his wife and his career.  He hears about the ‘vicious dog attacks’ that are leaving dead bodies all over the city and turns it into the career comeback he’d been hoping for, while the rest of the station’s crew, against their better judgement, turn themselves inside out to help him.  Because he’s just no nice.

Annie has to choose between the chance at a normal life by submitting to Dr. Marco’s rehabilitation center, or being on the run, in love, and having hot animal (literally) sex.  It’s a hard choice – especially amidst a city wide armed hunt for the mad-dog killers leaving dead bodies all over the place.

There’s a lot going on here, and I’m not even going to touch on all the ‘secondary’ characters from whom the reader occasionally hears from.  The narrative starts off a little slowly, as it takes awhile to figure out who all the players are and what’s going on.  But once everybody’s found their place, the story is fun, and a very different kind of morality tale.  I love that the good guys get good stuff and the bad guys get … eaten.  Or at least, what they deserve.

I thoroughly enjoyed this and I’ll likely read it again.  I won’t call it speculative fiction, but it’s very different from the garden variety werewolf stories I’ve read before, and I’d highly recommend it to anyone who is looking for a different take on a common theme, done with a cynical sort of humor.

I read this for Halloween Bingo, and it easily qualifies for at least three squares: Shifters, Mad Scientists and Evil Geniuses, and Gallows Humor, which allows me to invoke my first Spell Pack card: the all-new Double Trouble.  I’m choosing to use it for the first two squares: Shifters and Mad Scientists and Evil Geniuses.